You teach 👶 to swim??? Wouldn't they just drown? They can barely move their limbs or breathe right, and now you're adding 🌊 to the mix. Do you just drop them in and see if they float???
And why are you tying my 🍜 together??? Is this about the 🍜-length life thing? I'm not sure I like the implication of tying the noodles together. Or maybe I do? Is that like getting extra lives? Like a 🐈? Or an I being brought back to life multiple times for multiple lives?
They have to learn! There are a lot of lakes! Boats can be very unsteady! It's for their own good. Like Lan Zhan receiving messages.
It's supposed to be just one. One long 🍜, one long life. Though on second thought, the implication of me in particular meddling with the noodles is kind of funny, actually but very inauspicious. Maybe I should not do that.
That is not how anyone learns how to swim. That is just how you find out that someone don't know how to swim, and that should be very obvious with 👶!
I am not eating 🍜 if you have touched them. Not specifically because of 👻 reasons, but because I do not want to eat 🍜 that have had hands all over them. That sounds gross. Once again, I will simply have to stay a 😈. 🚫👻.
I hope you are not saying that 🍜 have hands on them after they are cooked... I don't care who touches them beforehand, but once they are cooked, they are only allowed to touch dishes and my mouth! And other food. And my utensils. That's it.
Did you also get shoved off a pier? Or a bank? Or whatever thing was regrettably next to a body of water, and even more regrettably, you were no longer standing on?
I have been shoved off so many piers Klaudia-laoshi, so many, and anything else on or in water. I said there were lakes, didn't I? Be honest, don't you want to shove me into a lake at least a little bit?
If 🧀🎂 isn't a prank then it is 👹✨ for sure but I will accept this, for your birthday, while I also do not handle the 🍜 by hand. It feels like you are tricking this 👻 but unlike you I will not stoop to base suspicion!!!!
Wei-xuesheng, I will specifically not shove you into a lake as a rule! I do not want to, not even a little bit! 🚫➡️➡️➡️❗ It is a horrible experience that I wish on no one. 👿👿👿
🧀🎂 is not a prank! Or whatever 👹✨ is... I would not trick a 👻 on this most special of days. You'll see! I promise it's 🥄👍! Otherwise, I will find a different 🎂 for you to have with 😈👛.
Well in that case I definitely won't shove you into a lake, you clearly feel very strongly about this, which I will respect much like 🧀🎂. But not wanting to push me into a lake (where I would not drown, because I'm not a 👶) is simply unfathomable.
I believe you! No 😈👛🎂! I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding and there's no 🧀 in the 🎂.
I said I wouldn't! I swear not to push you into a lake, or anything else that would make you drown. 🚫👿🚫 Who pushed you into a lake anyway??? It seems mean if it's you, you might be carrying something that shouldn't get wet, or might get sick. It would be a little like pushing Lan Zhan into a lake, and as we know, that has bad results too.
And I don't want to be pushed in either! I just don't mind it. And if I did something that made you want to push me into a lake then I would probably by default be a 👻😁 and deserve it. It's just how living somewhere with a lot of water is.
I don't have anything against 🧀, it just smells a little weird but sometimes those are the best things to eat. But that doesn't mean you put them in 🎂. 🍖🎂🦴🎂🥬🎂🌶️🎂
Would anyone dare to push ☁️ into a lake? I can't imagine that he'd actually fall in. I would much more readily believe that he'd stand there like a statue, and whoever tried to shove him would just look pathetic. He's too proper to do anything as silly as falling.
My crewmate pushed me into the 🌊! I told her I couldn't swim, and she just shoved me! Off the pier! Like I would figure it out! (This may come as a surprise, but I did not figure it out. The Captain had to fish me out of the water.) That was... about a year ago? I'm not upset about it anymore, but I am still not very good at swimming. I maybe kinda sorta forgot that I'm supposed to be practicing, so don't tell on me. 👿😕🤫
And that is absolutely not how living somewhere with a lot of 🌊 is! Maybe lakes are different, but you don't push people into the ocean unless you want them to die. Or unless they're a 🦴👻, but that's different.
...
🍖🎂✅❓ 🍖🥧✅ 🦴🎂❌ 🥬🎂✅❓ 🥔🎂✅ 🥕🎂✅ 🌶️🎂✅
You would be very surprised what people have put into 🎂, I think.
I think you're right and that's what would happen if anyone tried it except whatever cosmic power throws people into the bay here and even then you only get to do it once. No mortal would dare, no 👻 either. But I'm still sad I missed it.
I won't tell on you, even though I suspect you would not grant me the same 😔
Lakes are different because there's a bottom to them and land is close by so it's fine. WHY WERE YOU THROWING 🦴👻 into the ocean???? Don't they sink. Can they even swim. Don't you need meat to swim? You'd have to give them...arm sails. Maybe that's just clothes actually. 🦴👻 should not be naked.
That's all true but I hate it. You wouldn't put fish in a dessert soup just because other soups aren't sweet. 👻🌳🌳🌳🌳
I didn't throw any 🦴👻 into the ocean! ...I only threatened, just a little. And only because this particular 🦴👻 was being so rude! Too much attitude, not enough work ethic. So I told him if he didn't want to do his job properly, then he could walk back to 🦴👻🏝️. ...On the bottom of the ocean. 😕
Ships only function if everyone does their work. If one person decides they don't have to pull their weight, that could be dangerous for everyone else. It was not an unreasonable request!
Besides, I doubt it hurts them. 🦴 definitely do not float, but they also don't need to breathe. I doubt anything would even want to eat them, since there's no 🍖! So no 🦈 problems, either!
(Also our 🦴👻 were mostly clothed, thank you. Definitely needed new clothes, but we were not traveling with naked 🦴👻.)
Also!!! You are not allowed to make faces at all the kinds of cakes when you have dessert *soups*. What is a dessert soup even???
Yeah but what if they need to get back to the surface?? You would have to tie a string to them at least. I'm envisioning a 🦴👻 paddling at TOP speeds and barely making any headway and it's either hilarious or tragic depending on the 🦴👻. If they're rude 👋 Good they had clothes though. On second thought it might not help them swim that much, but I've decided now if you did it right they might be able to glide like kites. No 🍖!
Sweet soup? Soup with sweet ingredients? Fruit, rice balls, lotus seeds, sesame stuff. It's fine! Savory cakes, sweet soup, all fine, just one at a time.
...If we have the intention to pull them back up, I will certainly remember to tie a string to them~ Maybe we can give them a bath like that? 🦴👻🏝️ was not the most cleanly sort of place. No facilities, very tragic.
I do like your 🪁 idea, though! Like a 🌊🪁... I don't think they'd stay above water on their own--not enough buoyancy with 🦴🦴🦴, but with enough speed and a board or raft to stand on, then that might be enough to slide across the water.
It's a shame I have no 👻 to test it with~ 😌🤭
Your sweet soup still sounds like nonsense... but for every savory 🎂 you try, I will try a sweet 🍲! That is my deal to you~
Oh I figured the 🦴👻🪁 would not be in the water at all. You'd need a big kite, but some kites are already very big! And that is why I should have put 🦴👻 on them. You won't be testing that on this 👻 but I'd try your thing if I still had ⛵➡️🔖.
We don't have to make a deal! There are sweet 🎂 and savory 🎂 and I just think 🧀 should only go in one or maybe neither of them, possibly there is even a Lan rule about this. But I, Wei Wuxian, cannot be defeated by 🎂. You don't even have to have any (perfectly normal) sweet 🍲, I will eat any 🎂 fearlessly.
Boo~ What a boring 👻. Unfun 👻. I would call this 👻 other names, but he's agreeing to eat 🎂 fearlessly and buy me 🍜, so I suppose I'll relent... So long as he tells me what ⛵➡️🔖 is?
Maybe I want to make a deal! Because maybe I want to try sweet 🍲~ Lan Wangji said he could teach me to cook, so maybe I will ask him to teach me to make sweet 🍲... If I make something, do you promise you'll try it? Please say you will!
I am such a fun and interesting and not at all stodgy 👻❗❗❗ This is why I thought you would ➡️👻🌊❌🤔. What does Klaudia-laoshi think ⛵➡️🔖 is?
Then we can make a deal and I promise to try the sweet 🍲 you make and judge it very fairly. Though you may be out of luck asking Lan Zhan, sweet 🍲 is maybe not explicitly against the rules but I have to assume it was frowned upon like everything else fun. Baby Lans probably only eat mulberry leaves like silkworms. If the deal falls through for that reason it's not my fault!
Klaudia-laoshi is seeing a boat and a note. Or a tag? Boat gift? Boat paper? I don't think paper boats would help much here.
Did 👶☁️ also eat mulberry 🍃 like a silkworm? Is that what silkworms eat? Do they also wrap themselves in silky white cocoons? He was telling me about 🌙🎂 and osmanthus 🎂, so I'm going to ask him about sweet 🍲 anyway. Maybe there was actually more fun things on 🆗⛰️, but they were for 👻 who didn't make trouble~ 😔
Talismans to make a boat move more quickly. Doesn't go forever, it's like lightness skill for boats.
I wasn't there, but I'm assuming that's how it works. Mulberry leaves, righteousness cocoon, then sleeves. And there's no such thing as a 👻 that doesn't make trouble on 🆗⛰️ 😔 But maybe even righteous baby Lans get tired of leaves and sneak out to town for sweet 🍲 sometimes. Or at least read about it in a book.
Why do you need a 🔖 for that? I think the wind makes ⛵➡️ on its own. That is the whole point of having a sail.
And!!! If I want sleeves like ☁️, do I have to eat mulberry 🍃, too? I don't know if I can manage a righteousness cocoon, either. Can I just skip to the last stage?
There isn't always wind! Lakes can be very still! Maybe there's a current you want to cross and you're lazy! Plenty of reasons. Don't tell me you're against 🔖???
You can skip the righteousness but the leaves are essential. Why do you think I don't have ☁️ sleeves? 🍃
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-02 12:12 am (UTC)Somehow I feel like you will expect that regardless. If not 👻📝, something else. You can have lots of 🍜 but I am going to tie them together by hand.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-02 12:20 am (UTC)And why are you tying my 🍜 together??? Is this about the 🍜-length life thing? I'm not sure I like the implication of tying the noodles together. Or maybe I do? Is that like getting extra lives? Like a 🐈? Or an I being brought back to life multiple times for multiple lives?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-02 12:41 am (UTC)It's supposed to be just one. One long 🍜, one long life. Though on second thought, the implication of me in particular meddling with the noodles is kind of funny, actually but very inauspicious. Maybe I should not do that.
🐈?? 🕷️??
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-02 01:01 am (UTC)I am not eating 🍜 if you have touched them. Not specifically because of 👻 reasons, but because I do not want to eat 🍜 that have had hands all over them. That sounds gross. Once again, I will simply have to stay a 😈. 🚫👻.
🕷️🕷️🕷️❓❓❓
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-02 10:45 pm (UTC)Staying a 😈 is the whole point! But I have bad news for you about how 🍜 are made 👐.
🍜🟣🎂😈🐈😈🚫🕷️🚫👻🤝
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-02 11:11 pm (UTC)😈👶🚫➡️🌊
👻👶➡️🌊❓
I hope you are not saying that 🍜 have hands on them after they are cooked... I don't care who touches them beforehand, but once they are cooked, they are only allowed to touch dishes and my mouth! And other food. And my utensils. That's it.
🚫🟣🎂➡️🧀🎂❓
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-02 11:35 pm (UTC)I guess that's a good point, 🍜 do get cooked after all the touching.
🧀🎂❓❓ 🧀❗ 🚫🎂❗ 👹✨❗ 🙃👻😌
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-03 11:27 pm (UTC)Did you also get shoved off a pier? Or a bank? Or whatever thing was regrettably next to a body of water, and even more regrettably, you were no longer standing on?
And what do you have against 🧀🎂??? 🥄👍❗ 🚫👹✨❗
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 01:07 am (UTC)If 🧀🎂 isn't a prank then it is 👹✨ for sure but I will accept this, for your birthday, while I also do not handle the 🍜 by hand. It feels like you are tricking this 👻 but unlike you I will not stoop to base suspicion!!!!
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 01:31 am (UTC)🧀🎂 is not a prank! Or whatever 👹✨ is... I would not trick a 👻 on this most special of days. You'll see! I promise it's 🥄👍! Otherwise, I will find a different 🎂 for you to have with 😈👛.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 01:58 am (UTC)I believe you! No 😈👛🎂! I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding and there's no 🧀 in the 🎂.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 02:10 am (UTC)Why do you want me to push you into a lake so badly? 🤔 Do you like being pushed into a lake? I guess if it makes 👻😁, I can make an exception...
There is definitely 🧀 in the 🎂 if it's 🧀🎂. Why wouldn't there be??? Do you have something against 🧀, too?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 03:51 am (UTC)And I don't want to be pushed in either! I just don't mind it. And if I did something that made you want to push me into a lake then I would probably by default be a 👻😁 and deserve it. It's just how living somewhere with a lot of water is.
I don't have anything against 🧀, it just smells a little weird but sometimes those are the best things to eat. But that doesn't mean you put them in 🎂. 🍖🎂🦴🎂🥬🎂🌶️🎂
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 05:23 am (UTC)My crewmate pushed me into the 🌊! I told her I couldn't swim, and she just shoved me! Off the pier! Like I would figure it out! (This may come as a surprise, but I did not figure it out. The Captain had to fish me out of the water.) That was... about a year ago? I'm not upset about it anymore, but I am still not very good at swimming. I maybe kinda sorta forgot that I'm supposed to be practicing, so don't tell on me. 👿😕🤫
And that is absolutely not how living somewhere with a lot of 🌊 is! Maybe lakes are different, but you don't push people into the ocean unless you want them to die. Or unless they're a 🦴👻, but that's different.
...
🍖🎂✅❓ 🍖🥧✅
🦴🎂❌
🥬🎂✅❓ 🥔🎂✅ 🥕🎂✅
🌶️🎂✅
You would be very surprised what people have put into 🎂, I think.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 05:51 am (UTC)I won't tell on you, even though I suspect you would not grant me the same 😔
Lakes are different because there's a bottom to them and land is close by so it's fine. WHY WERE YOU THROWING 🦴👻 into the ocean???? Don't they sink. Can they even swim. Don't you need meat to swim? You'd have to give them...arm sails. Maybe that's just clothes actually. 🦴👻 should not be naked.
That's all true but I hate it. You wouldn't put fish in a dessert soup just because other soups aren't sweet. 👻🌳🌳🌳🌳
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 03:48 pm (UTC)Ships only function if everyone does their work. If one person decides they don't have to pull their weight, that could be dangerous for everyone else. It was not an unreasonable request!
Besides, I doubt it hurts them. 🦴 definitely do not float, but they also don't need to breathe. I doubt anything would even want to eat them, since there's no 🍖! So no 🦈 problems, either!
(Also our 🦴👻 were mostly clothed, thank you. Definitely needed new clothes, but we were not traveling with naked 🦴👻.)
Also!!! You are not allowed to make faces at all the kinds of cakes when you have dessert *soups*. What is a dessert soup even???
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-04 09:52 pm (UTC)Sweet soup? Soup with sweet ingredients? Fruit, rice balls, lotus seeds, sesame stuff. It's fine! Savory cakes, sweet soup, all fine, just one at a time.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-05 01:01 am (UTC)I do like your 🪁 idea, though! Like a 🌊🪁... I don't think they'd stay above water on their own--not enough buoyancy with 🦴🦴🦴, but with enough speed and a board or raft to stand on, then that might be enough to slide across the water.
It's a shame I have no 👻 to test it with~ 😌🤭
Your sweet soup still sounds like nonsense... but for every savory 🎂 you try, I will try a sweet 🍲! That is my deal to you~
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-09 09:52 pm (UTC)We don't have to make a deal! There are sweet 🎂 and savory 🎂 and I just think 🧀 should only go in one or maybe neither of them, possibly there is even a Lan rule about this. But I, Wei Wuxian, cannot be defeated by 🎂. You don't even have to have any (perfectly normal) sweet 🍲, I will eat any 🎂 fearlessly.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-09 10:17 pm (UTC)Maybe I want to make a deal! Because maybe I want to try sweet 🍲~ Lan Wangji said he could teach me to cook, so maybe I will ask him to teach me to make sweet 🍲... If I make something, do you promise you'll try it? Please say you will!
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-10 04:51 am (UTC)Then we can make a deal and I promise to try the sweet 🍲 you make and judge it very fairly. Though you may be out of luck asking Lan Zhan, sweet 🍲 is maybe not explicitly against the rules but I have to assume it was frowned upon like everything else fun. Baby Lans probably only eat mulberry leaves like silkworms. If the deal falls through for that reason it's not my fault!
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-10 05:24 am (UTC)Did 👶☁️ also eat mulberry 🍃 like a silkworm? Is that what silkworms eat? Do they also wrap themselves in silky white cocoons? He was telling me about 🌙🎂 and osmanthus 🎂, so I'm going to ask him about sweet 🍲 anyway. Maybe there was actually more fun things on 🆗⛰️, but they were for 👻 who didn't make trouble~ 😔
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-10 06:55 am (UTC)I wasn't there, but I'm assuming that's how it works. Mulberry leaves, righteousness cocoon, then sleeves. And there's no such thing as a 👻 that doesn't make trouble on 🆗⛰️ 😔 But maybe even righteous baby Lans get tired of leaves and sneak out to town for sweet 🍲 sometimes. Or at least read about it in a book.
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-11 05:08 am (UTC)And!!! If I want sleeves like ☁️, do I have to eat mulberry 🍃, too? I don't know if I can manage a righteousness cocoon, either. Can I just skip to the last stage?
(no subject)
Date: 2021-07-12 02:13 am (UTC)You can skip the righteousness but the leaves are essential. Why do you think I don't have ☁️ sleeves? 🍃
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