raveyardpatriarch | in🅱️ox

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From:

sulit

I *am* being nicer! It's a good 🎂! You like 🔴, so it's very 🔴; and it is a little bit deceptive because it looks entirely 🍫 on the outside, but it is actually a 🧀🎂. Like, a 🍫🎂 is good, but a 🧀🎂 is better; so it's a good surprise. It doesn't need to be tall and impressive because it knows it's 🥄👍.

I will be mindful to appreciate a 👻 more, even though I already appreciate a 👻 a lot. How much appreciation do 👻 need? Is there a scale?

I like the new ☁️🎂 better, too, but I don't know if I would call it restrained. Maybe? But only because it doesn't need to be flashy? It's elegant and pretty, and like 👻🎂, it doesn't need to be more than that because it's already 👍🎂.

From:

raveyardpatriarch

Are you saying I am deceptive? 😭😭😭I'm sure it's a very good 🎂 though I don't know what it tastes like, because I trust your judgment, except for the judgments about me, which are clearly sometimes fanciful imaginings. It's not even a deceptive cake as much as some of the others! There's fruit outside, which lets me know I can expect fruit.

This 👻 is very appreciated as it is! You can tell because of the lack of hauntings, so clearly this is the right amount. But any less and a 👻 will do something drastic! That's the scale. If I feel underappreciated I will show up and make noise.

That's just what I said but in more words. ☁️🎂👍🎂

From:

sulit

You just told me to lie about how many 🎂 were the correct amount. Am I supposed to think you're not deceptive??? Besides, it's a good kind of deceptive! 🚫😭👻! 👍👻! Very appreciated 👻! ✅👻!

Are you sure you're appreciated enough? You *do* show up and make noise a lot, so maybe you *are* doing 👻 hauntings. I should start taking 📝 of the noisiness of this 👻, so I can alert ☁️ to any possible 👻 hauntings.

From:

raveyardpatriarch

That was helpful, I was giving good advice! Not deceiving anyone myself. I'm a very guileless 👻. It's right there in the name. 👍👻 🤝 👍😈!

I'm sure! I show up at the right times and make the right amount of noise, only! Though I can see how that would be hard to distinguish, so yes, better to involve an expert. Lots of 👻📝.

From:

sulit

More like you are a very silly 👻, but I already knew that.

I'll have to make sure that my 👻📝 are condensed. If I bother ☁️ every time the 👻 makes a noise, then he might mistake me for an unruly 👻 too. And we can't both be haunting him, that would be too much.

From:

raveyardpatriarch

Just like you are a very mean sand cultivator, which I have also known from the start.

That's very true, and I feel very sure Lan Zhan values brevity in reports of all kinds, including 👻📝. Maybe just make it all pictures to really streamline things. Can't be more condensed than that.

From:

sulit

😈😋

I think you are trying to get me into trouble with ☁️... I cannot send him all pictures, would he even know what to do with 👻📝 like that? He would probably just tell me to rewrite them.

From:

raveyardpatriarch

First you call me deceptive and now this! I would never try to get you in trouble!! It would just be very funny to see on my end. No need for 👻👛 when there's that.

From:

sulit

Okay, fine~ I will send him 👻📝 pictures at some point! Then I will not have to provide any 👻👛, since the 👻 will be 😁~

If I have to rewrite all of my 👻📝, I hope you understand the ordeal that this will be for me. I will expect lots of 🍜 as compensation.

From:

raveyardpatriarch

It's a deal! You can't know how important this is. It's like teaching a baby to swim.

Somehow I feel like you will expect that regardless. If not 👻📝, something else. You can have lots of 🍜 but I am going to tie them together by hand.

From:

sulit

You teach 👶 to swim??? Wouldn't they just drown? They can barely move their limbs or breathe right, and now you're adding 🌊 to the mix. Do you just drop them in and see if they float???

And why are you tying my 🍜 together??? Is this about the 🍜-length life thing? I'm not sure I like the implication of tying the noodles together. Or maybe I do? Is that like getting extra lives? Like a 🐈? Or an I being brought back to life multiple times for multiple lives?

From:

raveyardpatriarch

They have to learn! There are a lot of lakes! Boats can be very unsteady! It's for their own good. Like Lan Zhan receiving messages.

It's supposed to be just one. One long 🍜, one long life. Though on second thought, the implication of me in particular meddling with the noodles is kind of funny, actually but very inauspicious. Maybe I should not do that.

🐈?? 🕷️??

From:

sulit

That is not how anyone learns how to swim. That is just how you find out that someone don't know how to swim, and that should be very obvious with 👶!

I am not eating 🍜 if you have touched them. Not specifically because of 👻 reasons, but because I do not want to eat 🍜 that have had hands all over them. That sounds gross. Once again, I will simply have to stay a 😈. 🚫👻.

🕷️🕷️🕷️❓❓❓

From:

raveyardpatriarch

Well of course 👶 don't know at first, that's why you're teaching them. 👶➡️🌊

Staying a 😈 is the whole point! But I have bad news for you about how 🍜 are made 👐.

🍜🟣🎂😈🐈😈🚫🕷️🚫👻🤝

From:

sulit

That just sounds ripe for tragedy to me.

😈👶🚫➡️🌊
👻👶➡️🌊❓

I hope you are not saying that 🍜 have hands on them after they are cooked... I don't care who touches them beforehand, but once they are cooked, they are only allowed to touch dishes and my mouth! And other food. And my utensils. That's it.

🚫🟣🎂➡️🧀🎂❓

From:

raveyardpatriarch

👻🤏➡️🌊❗ I missed my chance at 👶➡️🌊. But to make up for that it was very much a ➡️. ➡️➡️➡️

I guess that's a good point, 🍜 do get cooked after all the touching.

🧀🎂❓❓ 🧀❗ 🚫🎂❗ 👹✨❗ 🙃👻😌

From:

sulit

➡️➡️➡️❓❓❓

Did you also get shoved off a pier? Or a bank? Or whatever thing was regrettably next to a body of water, and even more regrettably, you were no longer standing on?

And what do you have against 🧀🎂??? 🥄👍❗ 🚫👹✨❗

From:

raveyardpatriarch

I have been shoved off so many piers Klaudia-laoshi, so many, and anything else on or in water. I said there were lakes, didn't I? Be honest, don't you want to shove me into a lake at least a little bit?

If 🧀🎂 isn't a prank then it is 👹✨ for sure but I will accept this, for your birthday, while I also do not handle the 🍜 by hand. It feels like you are tricking this 👻 but unlike you I will not stoop to base suspicion!!!!

From:

sulit

Wei-xuesheng, I will specifically not shove you into a lake as a rule! I do not want to, not even a little bit! 🚫➡️➡️➡️❗ It is a horrible experience that I wish on no one. 👿👿👿

🧀🎂 is not a prank! Or whatever 👹✨ is... I would not trick a 👻 on this most special of days. You'll see! I promise it's 🥄👍! Otherwise, I will find a different 🎂 for you to have with 😈👛.

From:

raveyardpatriarch

Well in that case I definitely won't shove you into a lake, you clearly feel very strongly about this, which I will respect much like 🧀🎂. But not wanting to push me into a lake (where I would not drown, because I'm not a 👶) is simply unfathomable.

I believe you! No 😈👛🎂! I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding and there's no 🧀 in the 🎂.

From:

sulit

I am not a 👶, but if you shove me into 🌊, I will probably drown, and then you would not be able to buy me 🍜. That would be the saddest outcome. 👿

Why do you want me to push you into a lake so badly? 🤔 Do you like being pushed into a lake? I guess if it makes 👻😁, I can make an exception...

There is definitely 🧀 in the 🎂 if it's 🧀🎂. Why wouldn't there be??? Do you have something against 🧀, too?

From:

raveyardpatriarch

I said I wouldn't! I swear not to push you into a lake, or anything else that would make you drown. 🚫👿🚫 Who pushed you into a lake anyway??? It seems mean if it's you, you might be carrying something that shouldn't get wet, or might get sick. It would be a little like pushing Lan Zhan into a lake, and as we know, that has bad results too.

And I don't want to be pushed in either! I just don't mind it. And if I did something that made you want to push me into a lake then I would probably by default be a 👻😁 and deserve it. It's just how living somewhere with a lot of water is.

I don't have anything against 🧀, it just smells a little weird but sometimes those are the best things to eat. But that doesn't mean you put them in 🎂. 🍖🎂🦴🎂🥬🎂🌶️🎂

From:

sulit

Would anyone dare to push ☁️ into a lake? I can't imagine that he'd actually fall in. I would much more readily believe that he'd stand there like a statue, and whoever tried to shove him would just look pathetic. He's too proper to do anything as silly as falling.

My crewmate pushed me into the 🌊! I told her I couldn't swim, and she just shoved me! Off the pier! Like I would figure it out! (This may come as a surprise, but I did not figure it out. The Captain had to fish me out of the water.) That was... about a year ago? I'm not upset about it anymore, but I am still not very good at swimming. I maybe kinda sorta forgot that I'm supposed to be practicing, so don't tell on me. 👿😕🤫

And that is absolutely not how living somewhere with a lot of 🌊 is! Maybe lakes are different, but you don't push people into the ocean unless you want them to die. Or unless they're a 🦴👻, but that's different.

...

🍖🎂✅❓ 🍖🥧✅
🦴🎂❌
🥬🎂✅❓ 🥔🎂✅ 🥕🎂✅
🌶️🎂✅

You would be very surprised what people have put into 🎂, I think.

From:

raveyardpatriarch

I think you're right and that's what would happen if anyone tried it except whatever cosmic power throws people into the bay here and even then you only get to do it once. No mortal would dare, no 👻 either. But I'm still sad I missed it.

I won't tell on you, even though I suspect you would not grant me the same 😔

Lakes are different because there's a bottom to them and land is close by so it's fine. WHY WERE YOU THROWING 🦴👻 into the ocean???? Don't they sink. Can they even swim. Don't you need meat to swim? You'd have to give them...arm sails. Maybe that's just clothes actually. 🦴👻 should not be naked.

That's all true but I hate it. You wouldn't put fish in a dessert soup just because other soups aren't sweet. 👻🌳🌳🌳🌳

From:

sulit

I didn't throw any 🦴👻 into the ocean! ...I only threatened, just a little. And only because this particular 🦴👻 was being so rude! Too much attitude, not enough work ethic. So I told him if he didn't want to do his job properly, then he could walk back to 🦴👻🏝️. ...On the bottom of the ocean. 😕

Ships only function if everyone does their work. If one person decides they don't have to pull their weight, that could be dangerous for everyone else. It was not an unreasonable request!

Besides, I doubt it hurts them. 🦴 definitely do not float, but they also don't need to breathe. I doubt anything would even want to eat them, since there's no 🍖! So no 🦈 problems, either!

(Also our 🦴👻 were mostly clothed, thank you. Definitely needed new clothes, but we were not traveling with naked 🦴👻.)

Also!!! You are not allowed to make faces at all the kinds of cakes when you have dessert *soups*. What is a dessert soup even???