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[raveyardpatriarch]

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[raveyardpatriarch]

They're all so big!!!! Anything could be in there!!!!!! Can you get an assortment of smaller ones? I'm a genius, do that.

[sulit]

Of course they're big, they're meant for a lot of people! Do they even make smaller 🎂? Wouldn't I still have the same problem of picking one?

[raveyardpatriarch]

No! If there were smaller ones you could get a lot of different kinds and not have to torment innocent 👻. So really my first answer was correct.

[sulit]

I don't know if I want a lot of different kinds, though? That's not in the spirit of things, I think.

[raveyardpatriarch]

Maybe if I knew the spirit in question I would be more helpful, as a 👻 myself. But if many small 🎂 isn't right, who is going to know?

[sulit]

[The response takes a few minutes to come back:]

The spirit in question is a birthday. My birthday.

And *I'll* know it's not right! There's supposed to be one 🎂, not a bunch of tiny 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂.

[raveyardpatriarch]

Today???

Then I guess it has to be one 🎂, because now I know too. What else besides 🎂?

[sulit]

Yes, I think so? It's the 28th of Mirtul, which I think... is today. The calendar here uses approximately the same number of days as the Calendar of Harptos, so using the vernal equinox as a focal point, then today would be... the 27th of Mirtul, going on 28th.

Is there something else besides 🎂?

[raveyardpatriarch]

Yes, there are many things besides 🎂. 😌 Kind of easy to forget though, after looking at so many.

[sulit]

Like what? Do 👻 do something special for birthdays?

[raveyardpatriarch]

You didn't even acknowledge me making fun of you about 🎂, you must really want to know!

👻 do not do a lot for birthdays, being 👻. 🍜 for 🚫⚰️? That would be pretty funny for a 👻 actually.

[sulit]

Well, you weren't wrong! Did I have to acknowledge that? I have looked at a lot of 🎂! I am going to be dreaming about 🎂 for the next week.

Like this 🎂, which is definitely you:


Do 👻 eat 🍜??? I didn't think they could eat anything. However, 😈 eat 🍜. Is a 👻 is offering to feed a 😈?

[raveyardpatriarch]

👻🎂👻🎂👻🎂❗❗❗

That is a very creative interpretation of my words! But also yes. Important 🍜. 🎂 dreams. 👻👛. ❌🤔.

[sulit]

Now it's my turn to be in disbelief that you just accepted that. It's such a tiny 🎂! On a stick! You didn't even protest for something nicer. Maybe I *am* too mean to you, and now you're used to it. 👿

👻👛❓

Do 👻 have 👛? And what makes 🍜 important? Is it different from regular non-important 🍜?

[raveyardpatriarch]

But you can clearly see there's a lot of them! So it seems fair. But if you want to be nicer, that is also fine 😌

Why can't 👻 have 👛❗❗❗ What is this you're saying❓❓❓ 🍜 is in this case for birthdays, to grant you a noodle-length life. I guess by this logic you also need the biggest 🎂 possible, not like the 👻🎂. The 🟣🎂 will make you immortal 🤔🥄

[sulit]

I have decided that I will be slightly nicer and give you a proper 🎂 that reminds me of you:



And I never said that 👻 can't have 👛! But what do 👻 need 👛 for? Do they have 👻 things to buy? Do they have 👻 jobs to earn 👻👛??? Obviously *this* 👻 can have 👛, but 👻👛 raises so many questions!

And if 🟣🎂 makes me immortal, what does ☁️🎂 do? It is at least one tier taller! I don't know what comes after being immortal. Being invincible? Do I become a cosmic force that makes up the fabric of the universe? I think I would rather have a normal 🎂 and stay a 😈, thank you.

I have found a better ☁️🎂, by the way! I'm going to send it to Lan Wangji, so he can appreciate what he would be like as a cake.

[raveyardpatriarch]

😿That 🎂 is so short 😿 I thought you were going to be nicer 😿

👻 need 👛 to feel appreciated, same with any other good things you give. But I never got any, which is why I'm so put upon to this day.

I think ☁️🎂 just sends you straight to heaven, that's the only reason it would be so tall. Better to avoid it. The new ☁️🎂 is much more reasonable, quite tasteful and restrained. Definitely explain to Lan Zhan that it represents him as a 🎂. He will surely understand.

[sulit]

I *am* being nicer! It's a good 🎂! You like 🔴, so it's very 🔴; and it is a little bit deceptive because it looks entirely 🍫 on the outside, but it is actually a 🧀🎂. Like, a 🍫🎂 is good, but a 🧀🎂 is better; so it's a good surprise. It doesn't need to be tall and impressive because it knows it's 🥄👍.

I will be mindful to appreciate a 👻 more, even though I already appreciate a 👻 a lot. How much appreciation do 👻 need? Is there a scale?

I like the new ☁️🎂 better, too, but I don't know if I would call it restrained. Maybe? But only because it doesn't need to be flashy? It's elegant and pretty, and like 👻🎂, it doesn't need to be more than that because it's already 👍🎂.

[raveyardpatriarch]

Are you saying I am deceptive? 😭😭😭I'm sure it's a very good 🎂 though I don't know what it tastes like, because I trust your judgment, except for the judgments about me, which are clearly sometimes fanciful imaginings. It's not even a deceptive cake as much as some of the others! There's fruit outside, which lets me know I can expect fruit.

This 👻 is very appreciated as it is! You can tell because of the lack of hauntings, so clearly this is the right amount. But any less and a 👻 will do something drastic! That's the scale. If I feel underappreciated I will show up and make noise.

That's just what I said but in more words. ☁️🎂👍🎂

[sulit]

You just told me to lie about how many 🎂 were the correct amount. Am I supposed to think you're not deceptive??? Besides, it's a good kind of deceptive! 🚫😭👻! 👍👻! Very appreciated 👻! ✅👻!

Are you sure you're appreciated enough? You *do* show up and make noise a lot, so maybe you *are* doing 👻 hauntings. I should start taking 📝 of the noisiness of this 👻, so I can alert ☁️ to any possible 👻 hauntings.

[raveyardpatriarch]

That was helpful, I was giving good advice! Not deceiving anyone myself. I'm a very guileless 👻. It's right there in the name. 👍👻 🤝 👍😈!

I'm sure! I show up at the right times and make the right amount of noise, only! Though I can see how that would be hard to distinguish, so yes, better to involve an expert. Lots of 👻📝.

[sulit]

More like you are a very silly 👻, but I already knew that.

I'll have to make sure that my 👻📝 are condensed. If I bother ☁️ every time the 👻 makes a noise, then he might mistake me for an unruly 👻 too. And we can't both be haunting him, that would be too much.

[raveyardpatriarch]

Just like you are a very mean sand cultivator, which I have also known from the start.

That's very true, and I feel very sure Lan Zhan values brevity in reports of all kinds, including 👻📝. Maybe just make it all pictures to really streamline things. Can't be more condensed than that.

[sulit]

😈😋

I think you are trying to get me into trouble with ☁️... I cannot send him all pictures, would he even know what to do with 👻📝 like that? He would probably just tell me to rewrite them.

[raveyardpatriarch]

First you call me deceptive and now this! I would never try to get you in trouble!! It would just be very funny to see on my end. No need for 👻👛 when there's that.