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[raveyardpatriarch]

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[raveyardpatriarch]

👻🎂👻🎂👻🎂❗❗❗

That is a very creative interpretation of my words! But also yes. Important 🍜. 🎂 dreams. 👻👛. ❌🤔.

[sulit]

Now it's my turn to be in disbelief that you just accepted that. It's such a tiny 🎂! On a stick! You didn't even protest for something nicer. Maybe I *am* too mean to you, and now you're used to it. 👿

👻👛❓

Do 👻 have 👛? And what makes 🍜 important? Is it different from regular non-important 🍜?

[raveyardpatriarch]

But you can clearly see there's a lot of them! So it seems fair. But if you want to be nicer, that is also fine 😌

Why can't 👻 have 👛❗❗❗ What is this you're saying❓❓❓ 🍜 is in this case for birthdays, to grant you a noodle-length life. I guess by this logic you also need the biggest 🎂 possible, not like the 👻🎂. The 🟣🎂 will make you immortal 🤔🥄

[sulit]

I have decided that I will be slightly nicer and give you a proper 🎂 that reminds me of you:



And I never said that 👻 can't have 👛! But what do 👻 need 👛 for? Do they have 👻 things to buy? Do they have 👻 jobs to earn 👻👛??? Obviously *this* 👻 can have 👛, but 👻👛 raises so many questions!

And if 🟣🎂 makes me immortal, what does ☁️🎂 do? It is at least one tier taller! I don't know what comes after being immortal. Being invincible? Do I become a cosmic force that makes up the fabric of the universe? I think I would rather have a normal 🎂 and stay a 😈, thank you.

I have found a better ☁️🎂, by the way! I'm going to send it to Lan Wangji, so he can appreciate what he would be like as a cake.

[raveyardpatriarch]

😿That 🎂 is so short 😿 I thought you were going to be nicer 😿

👻 need 👛 to feel appreciated, same with any other good things you give. But I never got any, which is why I'm so put upon to this day.

I think ☁️🎂 just sends you straight to heaven, that's the only reason it would be so tall. Better to avoid it. The new ☁️🎂 is much more reasonable, quite tasteful and restrained. Definitely explain to Lan Zhan that it represents him as a 🎂. He will surely understand.

[sulit]

I *am* being nicer! It's a good 🎂! You like 🔴, so it's very 🔴; and it is a little bit deceptive because it looks entirely 🍫 on the outside, but it is actually a 🧀🎂. Like, a 🍫🎂 is good, but a 🧀🎂 is better; so it's a good surprise. It doesn't need to be tall and impressive because it knows it's 🥄👍.

I will be mindful to appreciate a 👻 more, even though I already appreciate a 👻 a lot. How much appreciation do 👻 need? Is there a scale?

I like the new ☁️🎂 better, too, but I don't know if I would call it restrained. Maybe? But only because it doesn't need to be flashy? It's elegant and pretty, and like 👻🎂, it doesn't need to be more than that because it's already 👍🎂.

[raveyardpatriarch]

Are you saying I am deceptive? 😭😭😭I'm sure it's a very good 🎂 though I don't know what it tastes like, because I trust your judgment, except for the judgments about me, which are clearly sometimes fanciful imaginings. It's not even a deceptive cake as much as some of the others! There's fruit outside, which lets me know I can expect fruit.

This 👻 is very appreciated as it is! You can tell because of the lack of hauntings, so clearly this is the right amount. But any less and a 👻 will do something drastic! That's the scale. If I feel underappreciated I will show up and make noise.

That's just what I said but in more words. ☁️🎂👍🎂

[sulit]

You just told me to lie about how many 🎂 were the correct amount. Am I supposed to think you're not deceptive??? Besides, it's a good kind of deceptive! 🚫😭👻! 👍👻! Very appreciated 👻! ✅👻!

Are you sure you're appreciated enough? You *do* show up and make noise a lot, so maybe you *are* doing 👻 hauntings. I should start taking 📝 of the noisiness of this 👻, so I can alert ☁️ to any possible 👻 hauntings.

[raveyardpatriarch]

That was helpful, I was giving good advice! Not deceiving anyone myself. I'm a very guileless 👻. It's right there in the name. 👍👻 🤝 👍😈!

I'm sure! I show up at the right times and make the right amount of noise, only! Though I can see how that would be hard to distinguish, so yes, better to involve an expert. Lots of 👻📝.

[sulit]

More like you are a very silly 👻, but I already knew that.

I'll have to make sure that my 👻📝 are condensed. If I bother ☁️ every time the 👻 makes a noise, then he might mistake me for an unruly 👻 too. And we can't both be haunting him, that would be too much.

[raveyardpatriarch]

Just like you are a very mean sand cultivator, which I have also known from the start.

That's very true, and I feel very sure Lan Zhan values brevity in reports of all kinds, including 👻📝. Maybe just make it all pictures to really streamline things. Can't be more condensed than that.

[sulit]

😈😋

I think you are trying to get me into trouble with ☁️... I cannot send him all pictures, would he even know what to do with 👻📝 like that? He would probably just tell me to rewrite them.

[raveyardpatriarch]

First you call me deceptive and now this! I would never try to get you in trouble!! It would just be very funny to see on my end. No need for 👻👛 when there's that.

[sulit]

Okay, fine~ I will send him 👻📝 pictures at some point! Then I will not have to provide any 👻👛, since the 👻 will be 😁~

If I have to rewrite all of my 👻📝, I hope you understand the ordeal that this will be for me. I will expect lots of 🍜 as compensation.

[raveyardpatriarch]

It's a deal! You can't know how important this is. It's like teaching a baby to swim.

Somehow I feel like you will expect that regardless. If not 👻📝, something else. You can have lots of 🍜 but I am going to tie them together by hand.

[sulit]

You teach 👶 to swim??? Wouldn't they just drown? They can barely move their limbs or breathe right, and now you're adding 🌊 to the mix. Do you just drop them in and see if they float???

And why are you tying my 🍜 together??? Is this about the 🍜-length life thing? I'm not sure I like the implication of tying the noodles together. Or maybe I do? Is that like getting extra lives? Like a 🐈? Or an I being brought back to life multiple times for multiple lives?

[raveyardpatriarch]

They have to learn! There are a lot of lakes! Boats can be very unsteady! It's for their own good. Like Lan Zhan receiving messages.

It's supposed to be just one. One long 🍜, one long life. Though on second thought, the implication of me in particular meddling with the noodles is kind of funny, actually but very inauspicious. Maybe I should not do that.

🐈?? 🕷️??

[sulit]

That is not how anyone learns how to swim. That is just how you find out that someone don't know how to swim, and that should be very obvious with 👶!

I am not eating 🍜 if you have touched them. Not specifically because of 👻 reasons, but because I do not want to eat 🍜 that have had hands all over them. That sounds gross. Once again, I will simply have to stay a 😈. 🚫👻.

🕷️🕷️🕷️❓❓❓

[raveyardpatriarch]

Well of course 👶 don't know at first, that's why you're teaching them. 👶➡️🌊

Staying a 😈 is the whole point! But I have bad news for you about how 🍜 are made 👐.

🍜🟣🎂😈🐈😈🚫🕷️🚫👻🤝

[sulit]

That just sounds ripe for tragedy to me.

😈👶🚫➡️🌊
👻👶➡️🌊❓

I hope you are not saying that 🍜 have hands on them after they are cooked... I don't care who touches them beforehand, but once they are cooked, they are only allowed to touch dishes and my mouth! And other food. And my utensils. That's it.

🚫🟣🎂➡️🧀🎂❓

[raveyardpatriarch]

👻🤏➡️🌊❗ I missed my chance at 👶➡️🌊. But to make up for that it was very much a ➡️. ➡️➡️➡️

I guess that's a good point, 🍜 do get cooked after all the touching.

🧀🎂❓❓ 🧀❗ 🚫🎂❗ 👹✨❗ 🙃👻😌

[sulit]

➡️➡️➡️❓❓❓

Did you also get shoved off a pier? Or a bank? Or whatever thing was regrettably next to a body of water, and even more regrettably, you were no longer standing on?

And what do you have against 🧀🎂??? 🥄👍❗ 🚫👹✨❗

[raveyardpatriarch]

I have been shoved off so many piers Klaudia-laoshi, so many, and anything else on or in water. I said there were lakes, didn't I? Be honest, don't you want to shove me into a lake at least a little bit?

If 🧀🎂 isn't a prank then it is 👹✨ for sure but I will accept this, for your birthday, while I also do not handle the 🍜 by hand. It feels like you are tricking this 👻 but unlike you I will not stoop to base suspicion!!!!

[sulit]

Wei-xuesheng, I will specifically not shove you into a lake as a rule! I do not want to, not even a little bit! 🚫➡️➡️➡️❗ It is a horrible experience that I wish on no one. 👿👿👿

🧀🎂 is not a prank! Or whatever 👹✨ is... I would not trick a 👻 on this most special of days. You'll see! I promise it's 🥄👍! Otherwise, I will find a different 🎂 for you to have with 😈👛.

[raveyardpatriarch]

Well in that case I definitely won't shove you into a lake, you clearly feel very strongly about this, which I will respect much like 🧀🎂. But not wanting to push me into a lake (where I would not drown, because I'm not a 👶) is simply unfathomable.

I believe you! No 😈👛🎂! I'm sure this is all just a misunderstanding and there's no 🧀 in the 🎂.